Guy and I
by Crazy Blonde Bitch
Summary: Hoping to only see the wars of the past, the Doctor gets a welcome surprise when he meets the legend of Shirwood.


_**Disclaimer: i do not own Doctor Who, nor do i own Robin Hood. If i did, i would be rich and y'all wouldn't be reading this!**_

Gah! I was sleeping! I want to sleep? Does he not sleep? "Where the hell are we going?" She asked groggily nearly falling on her face as the ground lurches below her feet. "It better be good." she sat down in a seat, grasping the edges. This man and his vehicle were impossible to figure out.

"You'll see." The beautiful alien spoke music. "We'll be there in moments." He's smiling... sometimes I hate that gorgeous smile. She yawned, widely. "I'm sure you can sleep when we get there. We should get there before anything happens."

"Before any what happens?" He is just a vague, vague man. I should have stayed in America. The things I do to find a man. "Doctor, you really are a frustrating man."

"Really?" He stopped in his flitting around to look at her seriously. "No one has ever said that to me before." His face was soon, once again, taken by his ridiculously mischievous grin. I want the punch that smile right off his face.

"You're hopeless." She rolled her eyes as he got back to work and the vessel rocked. "Wake me when we're there."

_**_25min later_**_

"Throw these on!" His companion awoke to him throwing time appropriate cloths on her face. "Quickly!"

"What the hell Doctor? That was my freakin face!" she unbuttoned her jeans and stopped. "Skirts?" She turned her nose up at them. "I'm not wearing skirts." Throwing them down she examined the other cloths. A tight black leather vest, a tan poofy sleeved tunic and some pants that match the vest with laces up the outside of each leg. "Spiffy." She had nothing to worry from the tall and freakishly thin man. He wouldn't look as she changed. Too much the gentleman. "So when are we? And I'm going to guess by the clothes that we are going to need some sort of weapons like... blades?" she smiled hopefully as she fastened the vest into place. He winked and she ran giddily off to find her hoard of medieval weaponry.

"No firearms!" he yelled after her. "Katharine, I mean it!"

"Doctor. One, I hate guns! Two, I said call me Kat!" She came out, head to toe, a walking armory. Two Katana on her left hip, three Kaiken on her right, a Kama over each shoulder, a recurved bow and matching quiver on her back, assorted hidden throwing knives and battle/walking staff in her hand. "How do I look?"

"Like you're ready for a medieval war. I don't think you need all that." His eyebrow cocked as she gave him 'the look'. "OK then, lets go."

"Are you going to tell me where we are? Or are you going to make me wait till you open that door?" One glance at his face was all she needed. "Alrighty then, E.T., open the door." When he did, they were blinded by the light of a blazing sun.

"Welcome to the war zone." He smiled at her. "The Holy War. Before America was even found."

"HOLY SHIT! This is awesome." Kat got on her tip toes to kiss the tall man on the cheek. "I'm gonna have so much fun!" Just then they heard a woman's voice yelling.

"Shall we?" The Doctor looked as excited about the woman's voice as I was to be traveling it the Holy War. She stepped up and started to walk the direction of the yelling. They were finally close enough to hear what she was saying as they turned a corner one block away.

"All this time I've been fighting for England, do you think I'm going to let you kill England?" They turned to see a woman all in white with her hands up, seeming to be defending an injured man against another man all in black with a sword poised at her.

"Doctor?" Kat looked at him. He shook his head. He had no idea what was going on either.

The swordsman swung yelling, "Marian, Get out of the way!" He was backing her up.

"You'll have to kill me first." The woman, Marian, stated calmly.

"No." He spoke, his voice full of emotion. "We're going to get out of this. I'm going to do this thing, and then I will have power beyond measure. And we will be together." The man seemed certain.

Marian smiled, seeming not to believe her ears, "I would rather die than be with you, Guy of Gisborne." She stopped feet from the man who laid behind her, arrow in his back.

"No." Guy breathed.

"Doctor, I'm thinking that I can't stand here and watch this woman be killed." Kat didn't take her eyes off the scene before her. She knew where this was going. Her hand already rested on one Katana hilt.

"I'm going to marry Robin Hood." Marian stated, simply. "I love Robin Hood." She smiled to herself, as if just admitting it to herself for the first time. Kat could see that Guy was heartbroken in that instant. And the Doctor was all together thrilled.

"ROBIN HOOD!" He jumped up from his crouched position. Literally, jumping for joy. "We're going to meet Robin Hood!"

"You meet Robin then. I'm going to protect the Maid Marian." with that, Kat left his side, drawing her blade as she ran.

"I love Robin Hood." Marian said a second time, more firmly, full of her heart.

Guy was breathlessly full of rage and despair. Kat sprinted forward, praying that she would make it. Guy started his lunge, meant to kill the Maiden, but was instead cut down by Kat. His sword fell in two pieces to the sand. All three of them looked down, in amazement, at the broken blade.

"Oops." Kat grinned sheepishly at Guy. His blue eyes met her green ones. "I guess it didn't really need sharpening after all." She smiled and laughed.

"You were going to kill me!" Marian exclaimed. "I didn't really think you were going to kill me!"

"Think before you 'go lunging in', handsome. That way you have less regret in your life." Kat still held his eyes. "I'm sure that if you think about what you almost just did, you will realize that you didn't want to do it in the first place." At her words, sudden realization caused him to crumple to his knees. "That's what I thought."

"Marian!" A man came running down some stairs. He pulled her into his arms just as she started to fall faint.

"I'm fine, Robin." She said as her eyes rolled.

"Ha!" The Doctor had finally joined them. "Robin Hood! To think I came here just to observe the Holy Wars, and I happen upon the one and only Robin Hood and his Maid Marian! I never could've dreamed my luck!" He reached over and took Robin's hand into his and shook it vigorously.

"Doctor, you should really learn to contain your excitement until the battle is truly won." Kat spoke from behind clenched teeth. They were surrounded. "They have the high ground. And we are sitting ducks." She had her bow ready and poised, and was scanning the rooftops with it. "Ideas? Anyone?" She kicked Guy, who was sobbing at her feet. "Get up and choose a side, Man! We don't have time for your waterworks. Robin? Will? Ideas? Alan? John?"

"Ha ha, you do know your history then." The Doctor laughed.

"This is hardly the time, and no, I never believed that Robin Hood actually existed. He has always only been a fairy tale, bedtime story." Kat backed up until she stood on the edge of the fountain that was in the middle of the clearing they were so devastatingly trapped in. "Now quit being The Doctor and start being The Doctor!" While everyone was confused, he knew what she meant.

At that moment the Doctor started speaking very quickly, making no sense at all. He paced in circles and waved his hands as he spoke. Finally, he came to the conclusion that they could either fight and probably all die, or they could run. They took a vote and fight won by a landslide. Kat handed the Doctor a Katana and one of her Kama's and they circled up. Guy remained in his weakened state, and, with some magic word smithing that only the Doctor could possible do right, the fighters encircled him to keep him safe. The wounded man that Guy had wished to kill, King Richard the Lion Heart, stood next to Robin with his sword ready.

"They. Are. Going. To. Kill. Us." Kat whispered. "We. Are. Sitting. Ducks. Here."

And that was when they heard it... The Calvary was coming. The horns sounded and they were coming! Quickly the villains ran from their posts. Suddenly, they were safe.

"Well son of a bitch... That was anticlimactic." Kat pouted slightly as the Doctor handed her back her weapons. "They didn't even get to taste their first blood."

"I'm bleeding." Marian whispered. "I'm cut." They turned to see it true. She had a shallow gash going from just under her breast bone to her waist. Robin forced her to sit on the fountains edge. "I am fine."

"You are not fine!" He was frantic. Quickly, he whirled on Guy (whom had been snapped back to reality when he heard Marian say she was hurt). "You did this!" Robin charged at him and Guy ran as fast as he could from what he had almost done.


End file.
